It Doesn't Work

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Please take the following with a sense of humor, it is supposed to be funny:

You would not believe the number of times I get a message saying something to the effect that "it doesn't work, please help!". Perhaps some perspective would help you understand why there is no way I can help with a statement like that.

Suppose you go to a car mechanic and say "something is wrong the car, can you fix it?". Do you think the mechanic has enough information to diagnose the problem? Really, how could the mechanic POSSIBLY help you, when you have not supplied any information that could help narrow down the possibilities?

Now what if you said: "when i drive over 39 mph, the steering starts to vibrate and the car pulls to the right. the faster i go, the worse it gets". Saying something like that helps to the mechanic to diagnose the problem.

So if you feel compelled to say "it doesn't work", then at least assume i'm going to ask questions like:

  • are you on Mac or Windows?
  • Lite or Pro or 2?
  • are you using the VERY LATEST version of kJams? if not, get that FIRST
  • what *exactly* doesn't work
  • what did you try to do, and at what point did it fail
  • give me a list of the exact steps you took
  • how much ram do you have, how many songs in your library
  • what OS are you on, exactly?
  • did you get any assert fails? error messages? what are the exact words?
  • do you know the difference between a hang and a crash?
  • did it hang?
  • did it crash? if so, did you send the crash report?
  • does it crash on startup? can you even get to the main screen?

Help me help you by anticipating that i will NEED as much information as you can supply in order to diagnose and fix the problem.

Also read this about "repro steps".